just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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