NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
