So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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