New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
