i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
