Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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