Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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