Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize