today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
