somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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