AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
