It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
