The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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