did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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