She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The uberlube is also flammable
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
