so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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