it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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