hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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