That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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