How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
