kristin has been a bad kristin
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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