You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
