I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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