i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
