I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize