I faked an abortion last night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
