I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
