Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
