once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
