i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
