I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
