you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
