I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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