putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
