just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
