She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
