Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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