I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
