if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
