my sisters under your porch take her home
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
