well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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