they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish you could order shots online.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
