So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
