You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
