**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
