This is not my ceiling
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize