? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize