we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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