you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
