Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
