Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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