the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
