The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
