Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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