I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
