1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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