yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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