dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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