He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What a dumb baby whore.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
