every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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